EPILOGUE
The Hague, Holland, 27th April 2001
L.S.
In the meantime I have come back to the Netherlands and I can look back on a year of "living in fullness" of profound enjoyment, of being happy, of enduring hardships, of doubts and certainty about my undertaking. Of seeing peoples, countries, cultures and everywhere nature in its local form. Help was always there when I needed it. Help from people and help of that which is larger than myself. Little coincidences happening, which often were the key to longterm questions in myself. I felt myself seen, heard and guided and this feeling almost never left me. That is a great mercy.
This walk has deepened my awareness of human dignity where-ever I was meeting people. I have met with a lot of respect on my way, often from people who did not undestand why I did such a strange thing. I have met with hospitality and interest. No harm has come to me during this long way to Jerusalem. I was allowed to experience love and to love myself. I hope this process will go on. It makes me very happy.
I have the feeling that the something that is called God, or Source, or whatever name you will give it, comes stronger into my life and I feel the longing of surrendering to it completely, to accept life more and more as it is, without conditions. It is an act of love and trust and gratitude, a present to the Present One.
On my way according to my plan I have "gathered" visible and invisible prayers for the Peace of Jerusalem. I received no permission to offer them to God on Temple-mound. The worsened political situation in Israel/Palestina has its part in this. The question then arises if this prayer has measurable results. The situation being as it is. However, I never expected measurable results. For that you must be a saint. I hoped that I could bring a drop of peace, that my walk would serve the peace there and I learned more and more not to focus on results but to focus on: "Being there, with the people, with the trouble" in this tense situation and at the same time to hold on to my peace and knowing of peace. To talk to people, especially in Israel/Palestina, and keep up meditation and prayer. This is what I could do. The rest I must leave to God and the people there.
The prayerslips have gone up with balloons on springequinox sunrise from Mount Scopus, northwest of Jerusalem. They drifted on the soft wind to the old city and the mosques on Templemound.
I know that it will come, the peace of Jerusalem and I also know that it will not be on the end of times.
Johanna van Fessem